Saturday, August 26, 2006

Green houses and Dr. Pain

Although it looks almost blue in this light, I painted my storage building green. It is attached to my greenhouse and cracks me up that my storage bulding is a green house and my greenhouse is not green unless filled with green plants. The storage building has the same roof as my greenhouse and lets in a lot of light. My friend who built both structures thought it would be good to have the option of putting junk plants in the storage building in the winter if I ran out of room in the greenhouse. I have occasionally used it like that but for the most part it has become a junk room minus the junk plants.

I'm filling out the forms, which I printed off the internet, that the pain clinic I go to next week require. They want to know everything. It's a four page form. The irony is they ask for precisely the information which I volunteered to Dr. Pain on our first meeting. Dr. Pain said I was obsessive and to stop doing that. In other words he made me feel bad for compiling that information which I thought would help him assess my case. The other thing that pisses me off at Dr. Pain is that he probably kept me from getting into a pain clinic the first time by hanging fibromyalgia around my neck. The pain clinic does treat people with chronic pain after surgery but they don't treat people with fibromyalgia. Dr. Pain very quickly jumped on FibroM without taking the time to address the complexities of my situation or the fact that I don't fit that in key ways. The problem is when I got my main neurologist to refer me to a pain clinic because Dr. Pain and I weren't a good fit, Dr. Pain had already written me up as a fibroM patient. Since my main NEURO and Dr. Pain are in the same practice, his notes were in with the rest for the referral. He even said that the reason the pain clinic didn't take me probably related to the fact that I had fibroM. I told him I had tried to get in there after our first meeting didn't go well. He did make an effort with me after our rocky start but the sticking point is that when I finally was able to address the fact that there were key ways in which I didn't fit fibroM, he said that he agreed but it didn't matter what was wrong with me as long as the pain was managed. It mattered to me. It mattered because my PCP immediately got me in at the pain clinic once the referral was handled in the correct manner. It mattered because I was fearful of masking the pain so much that I wouldn't know if I had symptoms of something more ominous than pain. Hopefully I won't have to see him again.

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