Sunday, August 20, 2006

Garden dreams

I am dreaming of the energy to plant a winter garden. I am discouraged and waiting on a series of scans I had Friday but I did buy some wild flowers on an impulse. I'd like to plant some in case we have a long fall and I don't get the winter I'm actually longing for. We had much too mild of a winter to count last year. Odd too as our winters got longer and longer for a while there. I could also plant some wild flowers in my garden boxes and hope for the energy to cover them and turn the heating element on and off at night. I could also use the hot water jug method. If I get my greenhouse door fixed, I could try to do a big winter planting in there, as I was doing until last winter when my energy took a dive.

I am also looking forward to fall when my front garden is a blaze of color and the leaves are everywhere. I lOVE leaves. I love them in the trees and on the ground and raked into big piles to fall back into. I love leaves for mulch and added to the compost to break down with the green matter and form that nice black stuff. I can shake the compost through my sifter and scatter on my plants in the spring, and add to the boxes and greenhouse pots year round, largely due to all my leaves.

My daughter goes back to her university tomorrow. I hope I don't get a phone call Monday before I take her to the airport with bad news. I am prepared for the fact that I may get a phone call that sets my adrenalin into overdrive. However, without a biopsy, I know enough to ratched it down a notch. I know I have some kind of soft tissue mass on my spine because I can feel it and I know the pelvis had a possible recurrence before that turned out to be dismissed because it got smaller on a repeat scan. I know better than to let my adrenalin go off half cocked but that doesn't mean that it won't do that anyway.

1 comment:

Heather said...


I'm glad that your PCP was so on the ball and wish you the very best results from your scans.

Dealing with physical symptoms can be not only physically, but mentally exhausting. It saps you of your ambition... I can relate to that, plenty of ideas, but zero get up and go.

I hope that with better pain management and (hopefully) peace of mind from your scans, things will improve for you soon.

Thinking of you,