September clouds, benign biopsy, etc.

I'm sure that I've mentioned a time or two hundred that I love September clouds. Late August through September are some of the best months for clouds where I live and I'm glad to have captured some of them with my camera. I was relieved to get the word that my recent skin biopsy was benign. I didn't expect it would be anything else at one level but I did allow myself to get a little worked up near the end of my waiting to hear the word. I know better than to waste energy on the what ifs but that doesn't help me turn off my imagination sometimes. Now I just have to get past my regular oncology check up tomorrow. That's routine and I'm not expecting anything. I've been pleased lately to realize that in terms of blog categories, melanoma and more is getting farther and farther behind secret garden. Secret garden is the label that shows up the most on my blog posts in terms of a single label that I use. I like post labels because it helps me realize that slowly but surely melanoma is being pushed farther into the background in terms of what I think about. I have come to care about a lot of people who are actively fighting melanoma so to that extent it's not in the background but I mean in terms of my own health. If it wasn't for lingering chronic issues which have hung on since my groin lymph node dissection, I could almost think the whole episode in my life which started in February of 2005 is a bad dream. If I didn't have the chronic crap, I'd be tempted to drop all the doctors and take my chances. The problem is I have issues which have to be managed and the way that management takes place is for me to get referred here and there and each new doc has regular follow up appointments with me. It could be a heck of a lot worse, that's for sure. If I take stock and look back over the past year, some things are much better. This is one of the few appointments which I've had with my surgical oncologist where I haven't had some concern or another in terms of a possible recurrence. I also don't have the tension of a PET scan and shouldn't have to deal with another one of them until March. Different melanoma clinics have different protocols for following stage III melanoma patients and mine is one that does annual full body PET/CT scans as long as the patient is asymptomatic. Until now, I've always had more frequent scans, than is the standard where I go, because of some new physical issue or because of an inconclusive scan which required a follow up scans. I am pretty tired of scans so am very pleased that I don't need one during this cycle. The down side is I don't feel any closer to major improvement physically and I think the main thing I have to do now is get over it. I also know if I get too defeatist it will get worse. At the very least I need to walk enough or water walk or whatever it takes to keep the lymphedema in check. At one level, it would be easy for me to pull the covers over my head right around now but that's counter productive.I always love the way the pain specialist and rheumatologist both end my appointment by telling me to keep walking as much as possible because patients who are physically active tend to do better. I know what they are talking about but the air is thick with irony. I've tried repeatedly to be as active as possible for myself because that's what I want to be. Each time I make any progress I try to push and do absolutely the most I can and it always backfires. Here's where lower expectations are needed for sanity. I can't keep expecting to be fixed in some way that isn't going to happen. I am, however, about ready to put the cancer in my rear view mirror and as it recedes farther and farther away, I do believe that is behind me. That in and of its self is huge and I'm grateful.

Hard to fathom

I never had the good fortune to meet SheilaNB in person but I knew what her husband meant many months ago when he posted on the MPIP that she still had that Sheila twinkle in spite of pain that is beyond what I can imagine. Sheila's pain ended last night. Melanoma has claimed another who was brave to the end (names given as they posted on the MPIP):

Sheila NB

Melanoma, Life and other Crazy Stuff (Shannon aka Butterflymom)

Que Sarah, Sarah

Two Lucky (Rusty and Yen archive from melanoma category)

Charlie Wemkea Blue

Living with Melanoma (Heather)

Kim from Iowa

Randy Evans

Monika From Germany

BarbaraGA

I have listed only a few of the many brave people whose lives were claimed by melanoma. Bright lights all. There are so many others and it's hard for me to fathom the losses brought on by melanoma. Today, I felt the need to repeat this memorial list, and to add SheilaNB's name.

Weekend Snapshot number 3

The guidelines for weekend snapshot said that the snapshots can be ones you've taken during the week so I decided to go on a walk Wednesday, with my camera. I snapped pictures of places while they were pretty empty but would be filled with activity over the weekend.First a picture of me walking. Boy my sneakers are clean. That's worth a picture due to how unusual it is.I walked over a bridge that leads to a tennis court. The court looks pretty uneven to me but people do play there, especially over the weekend.
Then I walked past the pool. They put an inflatable dome over the pool in the winter so it's a year round pool. Normally the dome goes up after labor day and comes off after memorial day. I'm not sure what the delay is. Maybe since it's been a warm September they think it will be too hot with the dome. Once the dome goes up, there is heat but no air conditioning.
My last recreational shot is where they have high school and community baseball games. Looks like there will be a game soon. Maybe I'll catch it. Sometimes when I walk past the baseball diamond there is a game going on and I stop to watch for awhile.I decided to shoot the score board because the parks and recreation workers were doing some work on the baseball diamond. They didn't look like they would appreciate me taking their picture so I turned my camera away from them.

Here's the Weekend Snapshot link to find other participants and/or to join in the fun. The WS post day is Monday. However, people post from different time zones so it's already Monday some places and I tend to post on Sunday since Monday is a busier day for me.

Photo Hunt: Paper

I LOVE PAPER. If it weren't for computers and digital storage, I would probably be climbing out from under mounds of paper because it's very hard for me to get rid of it.
The paper post card above is a matte photo finish style paper. My middle sister sent it to me in the late 1990s. I liked it so much that I still have it.The second paper card opens up and was mailed in a paper envelope. The paper this card was made from is similar to construction paper. The second card had different materials attached to the paper. My oldest sister sent me the card above in the early 1990s. I liked it so much I still have it.
The photograph above is out of the pages of an old art book (older than me). If you click inside the photograph you can read about the work of art which is printed on a piece of paper and that paper is glued on another piece of paper. That's how all the plates in this book were done. The pages of paper with the art are actually two pieces of paper per page. The artwork is called the letter which is what made me select it since I've written many letters on many pages of paper. The photograph above is of the cover of my most favorite diary. The pages inside are similar to old newsprint. The cover is thick paper that is painted blue. The bottom tag isn't paper but the picture in the little frame is. The inscription on the tag says: She had a conference with her angels before breakfast. Decided how to spend her day. Climb trees. Run fast. Sing at the top of her lungs. Do the dishes tomorrow. My dear friend since we were teenagers gave me the diary for Christmas one year and I love it.

My first photohunter post explains how to join the photohunt. You can also go below to find other photohunters. The official day for posting is Saturday.

PhotoHunt

photohunt

Garden, rain, through the door

I am so excited about my new seedlings. They keep popping up and the weather has been perfect ever since the time I planted them ten days ago. It was quite hot when I planted the fall/winter garden which was optimal for germination and then as soon as they germinated it cooled down. I have had enough rain water in the various containers I use to collect it, for all the watering thus far.
I only planted three of my four square boxes because I thought I'd save one for when I thin the plants in the other boxes. I usually don't thin lettuce until it's big enough for baby greens in salads. I can get a number of salads from the baby greens I lift out and I keep doing that until I am down to the plants which have adequate space to grow through to maturity. I am mostly thinning the spinach and radishes. I have some volunteer fennel, kale, carrots and cilantro to confuse matters. That's one thing about my haphazard style of gardening, I let plants go to seed and then it's decision time when unexpected volunteers start peeking up where something else is planted. That's OK. I still have my rectangular boxes which also have lids for the winter. I can transplant the volunteers I want to keep into those boxes. I may end up with a bigger winter garden than I planned on but there's nothing wrong with that.
When I was checking on my garden I glanced over to my deck and noticed that my bedroom isn't quite as private as I think of it as being. The french door which looks out on my deck is great because I can watch the birds. This time of year with all the leaves on the vines, it seems very private to me as I can barely see my garden. I do have a curtain I can close for privacy which I do at night but I have thought about how it's not really necessary. Looking down from my garden and seeing my bedroom lamp shining out through the french door made me realize I probably should keep shutting the curtain. Wouldn't want to scare the animals that run around in my garden.