Day 81

Hard to believe that it has been 81 days since my latest effort to rehabilitate to an extent that I can get in the best possible shape I can. Rehabilitate is a weird word for me to use in a way. I know first hand what some people have to rehabilitate from. I went through that with my mom after her stroke. In her case, the the main emphasis was for her to be able to assist in transfers from wheel chair to bed and to chair, etc. I am well aware of how lucky I am. That said, I want to be able to go on long walks and not have to pay for it for weeks. At first I wanted to be able to jog because I like the way it makes me feel but I'm accepting that won't be likely beyond very short intervals. I haven't completely given up on it but it doesn't seem likely. Swimming has it's own set of issues because of my right shoulder. I still don't know why that's such a problem because my dissection was left groin. It has been two years since my groin dissection or close to it. My big hurdle was making it past the two year mark from my melanoma diagnosis which was February. People who have a thick primary like I did are far more likely to recur quickly. The average is much sooner than with a thin primary. Now that I have a normal scan to back up the fact that I am N.E.D., I feel like I'm in a good place to start to believe that melanoma isn't the direct cause for the aftermath and now my battle is to make the most of what I have to work with which is actually quite a lot. Over the past 81 days I have managed to go on a walk for exercise for 41 days so it averages out to every other day. At first I was doing it more like 4 or 5 days a week but the big thing for me is not to give up. It has helped to look at my log and think, I have to walk today because I don't want to go below that every other day average. I have been able to do some work in my garden and I can always go outside and be blown away by the afternoon light and take some pictures.