Tuesday, December 12, 2006
May be starting to believe
I may be starting to believe in NED. No evidence of disease is shortened to NED on a melanoma site I participate in. I was very relieved to get a call yesterday from the nurse at the medical oncologist's office to let me know that my MRI of the brain and bone scan were normal. I will see the doctor Thursday to discuss my situation but was very pleased that they went ahead and let me know the scans were fine. At this point I think I have to try once again to start moving forward, one step at a time. I have been walking regularly. Not running, not strolling, walking steadily on my standard neighborhood routes. I am being careful not to get carried away but at the same time I'm trying to go fast enough so the endorphins will jump in. It's working for the most part. I'm getting a little better mentally. I have to believe that I am going to continue to improve physically and mentally. If I hold on to that I can start moving away from the stress of trying to figure out things I'll never figure out. I will never understand why I've had so many physical problems since my groin lymph node dissection but I can start trying once again to find that elusive new normal. I may have to accept that the new normal will be full of changes. Some changes for the better like I've already received from the vitamin D supplements which are correcting the deficiency slowly and improving my balance. As my levels come up more, that may help with some of the myofacial pain. There's no answer yet about the C reactive protein being high or the peripheral neuropathy symptoms but perhaps the medical oncologist will have some ideas. If not, all I can do is keep trying and be grateful for what I do have which is quite a lot.